Do You Believe in Fate?

Do you believe in Fate?

Many people scoff at the idea of a predetermined course of events setting the stage for their lives. They prefer to believe in the concept of free will (which, admittedly, is easier to stomach – who wouldn’t rather maintain control of their own destiny? The idea of “The Universe” (or whatever) determining the outcome of our lives despite our best efforts is troubling). There was a great movie released earlier this year called The Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon that tackles this subject in a very interesting fashion. But philosophical debates aside – and ignoring related theories like causality, determinism, synchronicity and luck – the idea of Fate holds a certain romantic appeal, especially when it comes to love. And, I have to admit, I absolutely do believe in Fate, even though I am not at all a religious person (I don’t think the two need be linked in any way). “Everything happens for a reason” may imply a lack of control, but it’s also comforting – a great way for us to explain away (or survive) the bad things that happen in our lives. It’s not just wishful thinking on my part, either. I wholeheartedly embrace the idea that there are people in our lives we were destined to meet, and events that were meant to occur.

I had a dream once, you see…

It's a sign! (Courtesy of whatwouldjackdo.net)

It was October, 2009. One otherwise ordinary night, I had a dream about a woman I had known for a long time. It was one of those dreams full of rich detail. She and I stood together on a beach, the surf swirling around our ankles. I could smell the saltwater, hear the crashing waves, and feel the warm sun on my neck. We held each other tightly, in a warm embrace that spoke volumes. And then we kissed. It was tender and deliberate and made my heart race; the lack of urgency indicated this wasn’t somebody who was new to me, but rather a girl I cared about deeply, and one who felt the same way about me. Smiling, we then held hands and walked across the sand to a nearby cabin. That’s where the dream got really interesting.

I’m not one to typically remember my dreams – and those that I do recall the next morning are just flat-out weird. This one, though? The passion and intensity blew me away. What surprised me the most, however, was the woman I had dreamed about.

It was Tara.

You have to understand how out-of-left-field this was to me. At that point, we had known each other for more than six years, but we never talked. We exchanged comments on our respective blogs, and had recently Facebook friended each other, but that was it. I considered her a friend, one whom I had supported over the years (and who had, in turn, done the same for me) – but nothing more. The fact that she had been the subject of this dream that was, let’s face it, simply awesome blew me away.

I tried to forget about the dream, but it was so powerful it remained lodged in my brain, unwilling to let go, for days. I knew it was a ridiculously unlikely fantasy; I was in an on-again/off-again relationship that was rapidly veering toward “off again” mode, while she was similarly unavailable. Plus, she lived a few states away. Finding the dream impossible to ignore, I finally threw caution to the wind and decided to take a huge risk by e-mailing her and telling her all about it.

She was, understandably, surprised. And it’s probably safe to say, as intrigued as I was…if by nothing else, then by where this dream had come from! And in telling her about it, I opened a dialogue between us. Suddenly, she was somebody I could talk to openly and without fear of judgment. There were occasional phone calls, in which we would talk about relationship issues we were experiencing or other little Life-related happenings, and our already solid friendship intensified. Still, it never seemed like we would actually end up together.

Fast-forward two years, and here we are. In a relationship that, in spite of the distance, feels like it’s growing stronger every single day.

Do you have any idea how incredible that feels to me? How amazed I am by everything that has happened?

I’ve been thinking of that dream often these past few weeks, and when I do, I get goosebumps. It has obviously taken on a whole new context, and even though the exact details haven’t happened (yet, at least – they very well may), the feelings and emotions I experienced within that dream have become very real. So, what was this dream, anyway? A foreshadowing of events to come? A huge coincidence? None of the above? Did the dream cause the reality, or was reality already laid out somewhere in a not-too-distant future, just waiting for all the pieces to fall into place exactly when (and how) they needed to?

I can’t help but feel that Fate has a hand in this somehow. 

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36 thoughts on “Do You Believe in Fate?

  1. I’ve had some precognition dreams. Or called some shots. I proclaimed the 2,000 election would take abnormal time to determine. That the pope would choose the name John Paul 2 after John Paul 1 died so soon. It was the 77 or 78 series and I said Reggie Jackson would hit 3 homers. I also know that my adult son and daughter will always make the wrong choice and what the consequences will be. After a million validations they still don’t listen. I think calling something “fate” is Monday morning quarterbacking.

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    1. LOL…funny stuff, Carl.

      I don’t know about Monday morning quarterbacking so much as looking back and realizing that Fate was trying to tell you something in the first place. But that’s just my take!

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  2. Okay, I have kind of a strong opinion about this, as I fell in love with my Sara in a dream, woke up the next morning, began pursuing her romanitcally, and have loved her dearly ever since. Before the dream I hadn’t thought of her in romantic terms, but I woke up from the dream in love with her–in love in a way that hasn’t faded in more than 5 years. I knew in the dream we were meant to be together. I knew it in the deepest place inside of me.

    Weird? Coincidence? I don’t know. It’s simply my experience and something I believe in strongly as a result.

    If you fell in love with Tara in a dream–that, to me, is a huge deal. It means a massive amount in my book. I say congrats on that dream, my friend!

    Kathy

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    1. Kathy – wow, that’s quite the parallel! I had no idea. And it’s encouraging to me, too. I also don’t believe that love has to fade over time, but then again I’m quite the romantic. Or so I’ve been told! Thanks for sharing your story.

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  3. I’m not sure what I believe when it comes to fate. Perhaps we have some kind of destiny, but the path to that destiny is loaded with choices, and we sometimes make the wrong choice. If that is the case, then dreams like yours (and I have had a few as well) open the door to the potential destiny like an invitation, but you had to take the steps to achieve that destiny. What if you hadn’t taken the chance and shared the dream with Tara? You may not be where you are today. The universe does speak and guide us, but we have to be open to the signs and take action on them.

    Lisa

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    1. Excellent point, Lisa – and that’s something Tara and I discussed just the other night, how everything might have been different if I had been too {shy/afraid/embarrassed} to share the dream with her. Maybe The Universe offers up subtle (or not so) suggestions and leaves it up to us what to do with them. That’d be the best of both worlds, destiny AND free will!

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  4. I remember exactly where I was when I first read that email. To say I was astonished would be an understatement. I believe that was when I admitted for the first time to having a bit of a crush on ol’ PC. LOL I wish I still had it because, yes, that’s where it all started.

    And I could also tease you about the red toenails in the sand comment you made. Somethings never change. ;-)

    At the end of the day, whatever the reason, I’m glad we’re where we are supposed to be.

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    1. I know! Facebook ate that e-mail…I’d give anything to have it back. Wish I could read again exactly how I brought it up – and your reaction to it. But I have a pretty good memory. :)

      Definitely glad we paid attention to Fate, even if it did take us a couple of years to figure out exactly what she was telling us.

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  5. Well, my friend, you know based on my last post where “The Universe” and I stand (and BTW, you missed a capital “T” in “The” in your reference to “the Universe” in the post above. It demands reverence, after all…) ;)

    But I do believe that some things happen for a reason. Me? I was meant to have my life forever changed by a stupid brick. And you? Clearly, there’s a reason for all of this.

    Yet the skeptic in me is watching in anticipation. Prove me wrong — go right ahead…

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    1. Yes…I thought of you when I first mentioned The (there you go!) Universe. Knew you’d just shake your head and mutter something – probably obscene – beneath your breath. But that’s why I’m here – not only to comment on bricks and dead squirrels and Reno v. Vegas (by the way, have you ever considered the irony in featuring me in a story about Nevada, of all places?? I have…hello once again, Fate!), but also to prove you wrong. :)

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  6. “Do you believe in Fate?”

    Absolutely!

    “Many people scoff at the idea of a predetermined course of events setting the stage for their lives. They prefer to believe in the concept of free will (which, admittedly, is easier to stomach – who wouldn’t rather maintain control of their own destiny? The idea of “The Universe” (or whatever) determining the outcome of our lives despite our best efforts is troubling).”

    Yes, I know of many people who scoff at the idea of predeterminded course of events because they think that means they have no free will – and that makes them feel out of control. But, what they don’t realize is that they DO have control because THEY created the fate themselves OUT of their own free will. We all PLAN our fate before we’re born – it’s OUR choice. And fate does not always mean something negative. It means positive things as well.

    To me, the Universe constantly giving us ‘signs’ as to remembering our fate, but it’s up to us to follow it or fight it.

    It’s like as Lisa shared…”The universe does speak and guide us, but we have to be open to the signs and take action on them.”

    And as you also already know, I too believe that everthing happens for reason. I may not understand the reason, initially, but eventually it is revealed to me.

    “I wholeheartedly embrace the idea that there are people in our lives we were destined to meet, and events that were meant to occur.”

    Me too, Mark!

    I had CHILLS while reading about your dream! How wonderful! And I believe it. And just the fact that you were unable to ignore it, proves that it was REAL.

    Even without ever meeting you or Tara in person, I felt from the beginning (when you shared about her on your blog) that it was fate!

    “I can’t help but feel that Fate has a hand in this somehow.”

    Yup!

    Great post, buddy! And thank you for speaking up about this topic, which many people wouldn’t do. BRAVO!

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    1. “And just the fact that you were unable to ignore it, proves that it was REAL.”

      Excellent point, Ron! I never thought of that angle.

      “Even without ever meeting you or Tara in person, I felt from the beginning (when you shared about her on your blog) that it was fate!”

      That’s interesting…I know how in tune you are with this stuff. (And I can’t wait to see if your own relationship prediction comes true next March!).

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    1. Kathy – we were talking about you last night! Were your ears burning?? LOL. I was just telling her a lot of your story and she thought it sounded fascinating (as it is). Tara does not have an actual blog, no…long story. But I’ll pass along what you’ve said! In fact, she’ll probably see your comment here anyway. :)

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      1. I should clarify…the place where she writes is an online community where you have to “join” and create an account, either paid or free. It’s not accessible to just anybody with a computer, the way that WordPress and Blogger are. Kinda like LiveJournal, if you’re familiar with that. I wrote there for many years and made a lot of good friends (none better than Tara, of course!) but felt it was time to move on after awhile.

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  7. Sounds like somebody believes in coincidences after all, just maybe in a different name. What a wonderful memory and dream. Remind me to blog about astral visits sometime, you’ll be interested. :)

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  8. It was 1997. The final year of high school. The year I had to take the national-level exam. The day before I took my History paper, I had a dream. In that dream, I saw the first 3 questions printed on the exam paper. I woke up, not quite sure what to make of it, but I remember telling my mates about it. Nobody believed me. When I entered the exam hall and received the test paper, the questions were there exactly as I had seen them in the dream.I still remember this until today. The most powerful dream I had – it’s like I had a glimpse of the future right before it happened. I haven’t had any dream like this one since then.

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