Although technically, I stalked her first. (Actually, “stalking” isn’t even the right term. I just took her picture, posted it online, and told the world that she wanted me). You might be wondering why I would do such a thing. The reason is simple, my friends: clearly, she did want me. The proof is below. Tell me those aren’t seductive bedroom eyes she’s flashing in my direction.
It isn’t every day that a pretty and scantily-clad woman so blatantly comes onto you, so I might have been a little bit excited at the time. Keep in mind, this happened in August of 2011, before Tara and I started dating. My love life at the time was nonexistent, so a hot belly dancer eyeing me was big news. I posted pics on Facebook. I blogged about it here. And then, I promptly forgot all about the exotic dancer with the come-hither look because I fell in love, for real.
Imagine my utter surprise (and embarrassment), then, when this very belly dancer stumbled upon my blog the other day. She left the following comment on my post.
Hello Mark…it’s me, the bellydancer on the right. (And while you might think I am kidding, no I am not. This fateful encounter is due to the magic of Google searches).My sincerest thanks for enjoying our performance and the come-hither look. People usually think Chelsea is the cutest one in the group, but I’m glad you think otherwise.
I was, indeed, “completely entranced by your male magnetism” and I don’t routinely smile seductively at every camera that’s pointed in my direction during performances. Yours was special. So special, I’ve blocked out the memory.
I’m sorry to have missed you and your S.O. at this year’s Alberta Street Fair. (I was on vacation). But I look forward to giving you bedroom eyes at Alberta Street Fair 2013.
See you there, Melissa.
My first reaction upon reading Melissa’s comment?
Oh, shit! Because it was a tad embarrassing, this ancient (in blogging terms) post of mine. Not only did I gush over her, I talked about what we might name our children. Oopsie. However, being a typical male, any initial misgivings over my words were followed in quick succession by the ego-boosting idea that I wasn’t imagining things – she really does want me!
I suppose there’s a slight possibility that her response is actually sarcastic.
Still, I fretted over how to break the news to Tara, searching for the perfect words to convey to my sweetheart the depths of my love for her while declaring that, oh by the way, there’s this belly dancer who totally wants me.
Turns out, there was nothing to worry about. Tara knew all about Melissa (how cool to have a name to go along with the rest of her!), probably because I bragged to the world mentioned her previously. I did, in fact, look for her at this year’s Alberta Street Fair, but had to settle for a reindeer sausage instead. My girlfriend was surprisingly open-minded over the fact that another woman has a burning desire for me coursing through her loins at every waking moment.
Either that or she believes Melissa’s comment actually was nothing but sarcasm. Perish the thought.
In any case, Tara has nothing to fear, because I am madly in love with her. If there are to be any future babies, they’d be ours. (Calm down…I’m just making a point). Maybe if Melissa had discovered my post fourteen months ago we’d have ended up together, but alas, it’s too late now. I will continue to admire her performances with the Gypsy Heart Tribal and look forward to meeting her in person next year (because “hi, nice to meet you, I’m the guy who lusted after you on my blog” won’t be the least bit awkward), but that’s as far as it can go. I’m sorry, Melissa. You’ll just have to focus on playing your finger cymbals and swaying your hips and putting me, your lost love, out of your mind. As best you can, of course.
It’ll take time, but eventually, broken hearts heal.
Can’t wait to see you next summer!