Tempting Fate With a Fork

On Monday, Tara came down with a cold.

In retrospect, that’s not too surprising. Saturday, we spent several hours in a house chock full of little kids. I don’t even know how many there were. Eight? Ten? 100? It was a joint birthday party for Tara’s nephew and another kid, and turned out to be a lot of fun, but anytime you have a herd of children in a small enclosed space, germs will inevitably be flying around willy-nilly because kids don’t always wipe their noses, or they do wipe their noses and then reach inside the bag of potato chips that you will snack on next. It happens.

Anyway, she came home sniffling and sneezing and coughing, and felt downright miserable. After dinner, in a show of solidarity, I grabbed her fork and licked it. I thought this was a sweet and romantic gesture, right up until the point when she said, “Why on earth did you do that?!”


“We’re in this together, dear,” I said. Besides, I thought, with the amount of saliva we’ve been swapping…

“I guess it doesn’t matter, with the amount of saliva we’ve been swapping,” she said a moment later, echoing my sentiments. Exactly! The damage, if there is any, had already been done.

Besides, I rarely get sick. I am blessed with good jeans! They’re Levi’s, and boy are they comfortable. Err…I’m also blessed with good genes. Thanks, mom and dad! It’s been three years since I’ve had so much as a cold. In retrospect, my fork-licking was an act of cockiness given my propensity for good health. I was almost daring those germs to try and get me! I’ll admit, later that evening, when my beloved was lying in bed miserable, a sheen of Mentholatum coating her philtrum while she blew her nose in between coughing spurts, I thought that maybe my gesture of solidarity had been ill-advised. There are plenty of ways to support your partner when she is sick, such as making her tea and propping up her pillows. Willingly slurping up the same germs circulating through her body might be construed as a tad extreme, but second-guessing my actions at that point was useless. Besides, it’s a few days later now, and I feel fine. I’m fortunate to hardly ever get sick. The downside is, when I do get sick, I tend to whine about it. Darling, you have been warned.sick-scrabble

By the way, you’d think she’d be happy that I’m a healthy guy who never gets sick, right? This morning when I told her cheerfully “I still feel fine!”, she snarled, “bite me.”

Ain’t love grand?

Freshly Unimpressed

So, there’s this “thing” with WordPress called Freshly Pressed, where a select group of blogs are chosen by a mysterious cadre of WordPress editors and featured daily. The exposure is off the charts: said post will receive hundreds of hits and comments and introduce a whole new audience to your blog, some of whom will theoretically stick around. Many of my favorite bloggers have been Freshly Pressed, some of them, multiple times. It’s a great honor, and coveted by many who write here. I’m not sure how the algorithms work, or what the humans are looking for, but I have never been one of the chosen ones. I used to fixate on this, and even try to craft my posts to appeal to a wide audience, but I soon grew bored with that venture and just figured if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. Writing here is a release; I don’t need virtual awards or recognition.

Just cash. Feel free to donate. I have a PayPal account.

I kid, I kid. (Well, I do have a PayPal account, so if you really want to…). What amazes me about blogging is the people who stumble across your writing. In the past couple of years, I have received comments from Loretta Swit’s cousin, the grandchildren of the man who invented Fettucini Alfredo, the belly dancer whom I lusted after, and – most recently – a representative of the Underwood Company, who responded to my post in which I declared my love for their chicken spread. I think this is way cool, and better than any accolades that might be bestowed upon me. Blogging opens up the world around you, it turns out, and you never know who is paying attention.

The downside, of course, is – you never know who is paying attention.


Published by Mark Petruska

I'm a professional writer and editor living my best life in south central Wisconsin.

15 thoughts on “Tempting Fate With a Fork

  1. Please tell Tara she has my complete compassion because I just recently got a cold too. I NEVER get sick, but I started to feel icky last Sunday (sore throat, sneezing and coughing). Thank god it never got too bad because I immediately started taking my natural antibiotics, so I’m feeling so much better today 🙂


    1. Well, dang it…if you never get sick and you got sick, how poorly does that bode for me??

      Tara appreciates your comment and we both wish you a speedy recovery from your own cold, Ron!


  2. So true…. my post was a bit tongue in cheek…..but I am genuinely curious as to how and why some posts are selected over others. To me it seems to be a somewhat random process. Yet there are so many people out there all trying desperately to figure it out. Hope you have a happy and healthy week ahead of you 😉


    1. I read the links you posted to, as well, and it STILL strikes me as one great, big mystery. Today’s Freshly Pressed posts shed no additional light because they, too, were all over the place. Oh, well – like I said, if it happens, it happens!


    1. Kind of like how you guys said “the one thing you have to avoid is a hospital stay” when I lost my job and no longer had health insurance? Yeah…jinxes are funny that way. But I DO feel fine!


  3. You never know who is paying attention – I feel over when CBC contacted my about one of my posts. It was a great experience to be interviewed and see how the show was put together.

    I hope Tara is feeling better soon!


    1. That’s pretty cool! We also had a drive time radio show in England comment on our food blog just two or three days in. Supposedly they were going to feature us on our show, but if they did, I never noticed any appreciable uptick in traffic. Still, it’s nice to get noticed. Thanks for sending Tara the well wishes! She IS feeling better today.


      1. Very cool! You never know where your blog will take you or who is reading…I find it very exciting.

        I am glad she is feeling better! It makes the weekend that much more enjoyable 🙂


  4. Thanks Mark 🙂 for putting my post In ‘Sickness and in Health’ in your related articles. I notice you have written a book, and had it published. WOW! I hope I can say the same about this time next year. You now have another stalker. Happy Blogging.


    1. You’re welcome! Your post echoed my sentiments exactly. People think they’re doing their coworkers a favor by going to work when they’re sick, but really, the opposite is true. All they’re doing is spreading germs all over the place!

      Thanks for following. And good luck with your book – you can do it! 🙂


  5. You changed your background! Very nice! I like the blue. You are one lucky fellow to be blessed with such good health – I wish I could say the same. As you get older, it gets harder & harder to stay healthy. Take care of Tara, she deserves the royal treatment!


  6. Taking those scrabble tiles will work as well as any of those pills out there. Now the old Sicilian remedies include putting Vicks on the bottom of your feet, put roasted onions in you ears wrapped with a moist towel, a shot of anisette every 4 hours and sleep under 17 blankets. If that does not work, they beat you with the big wooden salad spoon until it goes away so make sure that works. The cold will not go away if you continue to sneeze and cough all day so stop that before remedies.


Add Your Two Cents!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: