No Nudes is Good News

While skimming through Facebook this morning, I came upon a link to an article that said Playboy is planning to stop publishing photos of naked women.

Very funny, I thought. The Onion is at it again.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the source for the article is NPR, and the story is legit. Playboy without naked women is like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse. Sacrilege! It’s the whole reason people buy the magazine, right? Never mind all that “I read it for the articles” mumbo-jumbo. While it’s true that Playboy does have interesting articles on occasion, it’s hardly a bastion of journalistic excellence.

Then again, the CEO has an excellent point. He writes,

You’re now one click away from every sex act imaginable for free. And so it’s just passé at this juncture.

Fair enough, and true. This certainly marks a victory for feminism, a cause I wholeheartedly support. I can’t help but have mixed feelings, though. Playboy is such a rite of passage for so many young men. Yes, mom, I looked at it when I was younger. But so did your dad! I don’t know whether I should “out” my dearly departed grandfather in this fashion, but Hugh Hefner has forced my hand. One summer a few years after he passed away, I was visiting my grandmother in New Jersey and happened upon boxes and boxes of old Playboy magazines in the basement, many of these dating to the 1950s and 60s. They were probably worth a small fortune! To me they were priceless, as they provided a never-ending source of reading material for me during my six-week stay. Plus, they made me admire my grandfather even more! I saw that he was just a regular guy, and I respected that. 76-09-playboy

I suppose we can call this a step forward for women’s rights, and I will not deny that this is good news. And yet, it’s the end of an era. RIP, Old Playboy format.

Last week, my content specialist pulled me aside to “have a talk.” My pulse quickened a little when she made that request, but I reasoned that we’ve had impromptu talks plenty of times before, and it’s not like she was going to hand me her resignation.

Five minutes later, she had handed me her resignation.

Well, shit. I’ll just pretend that we’re not really swamped at work and already looking for a third person to add to our team! So now we’re in need of two. It’s okay; I actually encouraged her to follow her dream, and the opportunity she has is a good one. No hard feelings. Today I began the screening process for new content writers, and had forgotten how entertaining reading cover letters and resumes can be! The very first one I looked at was from a self-professed “jack of all trades, master of none” who has been an energy drink distributor, a mechanic, a grocery store fish specialist, and “an entrepreneur in the medical cannabis scene in Portland.” That’s right: he owns his own marijuana edibles company and he can distinguish between steelhead and chinook like nobody’s business! Can I hire him TODAY, please?!


Published by Mark Petruska

I'm a professional writer and editor living my best life in south central Wisconsin.

8 thoughts on “No Nudes is Good News

  1. I saw the a Playboy news yesterday and am still trying to figure it out. The only thing I can come up with is that nobody under the age of 40 subscribes to magazines and the majority of their subscribers are 60+ and don’t want to look at nudes of girls their granddaughters’ ages?


    1. There’s probably some validity to that. I mean, people look at me weird whenever I talk about dropping my Netflix DVDs in the mail. They’d be shocked to learn I subscribe to not one, not two, but three real live paper magazines!


  2. Hey, I use to buy Hustler for the content but my brother and my dad stole them from me and I didn’t want them back after they had them. I offered to buy two copies but they were too embarrassed to admit they were looking at the pictures.

    Really, I love the artwork in Playboy which they will apparently be keeping. Everything has to grow up eventually.


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