I’m a Lizard

Text conversation between me and my brother last night…

Him: Hey, is a hot dog a sandwich?
Me: Nope. But a burger is.
Him: It’s the same thing. Bread, meat, condiments.
Me: No. A hot dog bun is connected, but a burger bun has two separate sections. A top and a bottom. That’s what makes a sandwich. An open face “sandwich” is bullshit, too.
Him: What if I eat a hot dog wrapped in a bread slice?
Me: One slice or two?
Him: Just one.
Me: Not a sandwich. Unless you cut the one slice into two halves. That’s a sandwich.
Me: Wait a minute. When you go to Subway, sometimes the roll is still connected. But that’s clearly a sandwich. I may have to rethink my position.
Him: We both think sandwich.
Me: I’ve thought about it. A hot dog is totally a sandwich.
Him: Heard it on the radio. 60 percent said no sandwich.
Me: They’re wrong.
Me: Thanks for my next blog post.

Hey, at least this goes to show that I’m an open-minded guy. I can admit when I’m wrong. (It’s rare, but it does happen.)

Tara and I took a trip to Seattle last weekend to celebrate her mom’s birthday. They were content to spend the day “visiting” (Tara’s generic term for sitting around with a friend/family member and talking) in Tracy’s apartment, but I have apparently inherited my dad’s can’t-sit-still gene. Two hours in and I was itching to go out and do something. I asked Audrey if she was interested in driving downtown, and she pounced on the opportunity. She has her sights set on the University of Washington for college and wants to live in Seattle, so her enthusiasm was hardly a surprise. It was rainy, windy, and cold, but we didn’t let those things stop us. I had no plan other than finding a place to park and wandering around Pike Place Market, both of which we did. And then we decided to wander over to the Great Wheel, a fairly recent (circa 2012) tourist attraction on Pier 57 overlooking Elliott Bay. It’s a 175′ ferris wheel (tallest on the West Coast when it was built) with 42 climate controlled gondalas. It cost $13 apiece to ride, but even with the inclement weather, was totally worth it. We were up there for four revolutions (12 minutes) and took about 50 photos combined. Turned out to be a nice father/daughter bonding opportunity.

Back to reality on Monday. Work is kicking my ass. My new copywriter is doing a great job, but we are desperately in need of that third person. We had an interview today and two more scheduled this week. I’m hoping to pull the trigger soon as we can really, really use the help.

During every interview, my favorite question to ask is, “Tell me about a book you have read recently.” I think it’s a good icebreaker and tends to put the candidates at ease. And it’s interesting to me, because A. I’m always looking for book suggestions, and B. If you want to be a writer, you’d better be a reader. At least in my opinion. Fortunately, nobody has ever let me down. Sadly, no one has answered that question with No Time For Kings yet. Hey, there’s no harm in a little bit of ass kissing during an interview, know what I mean?

Future candidates, if you’re reading this post, take heed. And hop on over to Amazon already. Burn that midnight oil. You’ll impress the hell out of me if nothing else.

I kid, I kid.

In other news, it’s been cold here. I feel like I’m bundled up at my desk all day long and never really warm up. I even went so far as to turn the heat on at home the other day. I resisted as long as I could, but the constant teeth chattering were taking their toll. I can’t believe that I used to be hot all the time. I’m the complete opposite now.

In other words, I’m a lizard.

Here are a few pics from last weekend.






Published by Mark Petruska

I'm a professional writer and editor living my best life in south central Wisconsin.

9 thoughts on “I’m a Lizard

  1. Mark, I loved the text conversation between you and your brother! I too would have thought that a hot dog is not a sandwich. However, I too eat at Subway and you’re right, they are all considered sandwich’s yet, they are all on a roll which is still connected!

    GREAT shots of you and Audrey on the Great Wheel! In as much as I don’t like heights, I’d defintely ride it!


    1. I still don’t know what to think about the whole hot dog thing! And then, you start veering off into weird directions. Like gyros and burritos. And lettuce wraps. It’s enough to drive one crazy!


  2. I could never go on any of those rides. I’d have a heart attack. I dream about people capturing me and strapping me in. What a horrible death. If I go the fair the only ride is the one in the car to and from. Hmmm. Bumper cars are OK though but not fast enough to harm the little children and send them screaming to their mothers . Now that is to die for. Victory.


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