No Bright Colors in the Zombie Apocalypse

I was watching The Walking Dead last night and made an interesting observation. Not sure if I ever noticed it before, but for some reason there are no bright colors in the zombie apocalypse. Everybody is cloaked in gray. This lends an eerie ambiance to the show, but a one-dimensional wardrobe is not very realistic. I mean, eventually you would run across a walker sporting a Spongebob Squarepants t-shirt. Right? Or any of the following…

  • An “I’m With Stupid —>” tee
  • A “My Parents Went to Cabo San Lucas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” t-shirt
  • An ugly Christmas sweater
  • A wife beater
  • A Russell Wilson jersey
  • A bathrobe
  • A powder blue tuxedo

Scratch that last one. It’s not like the zombie apocalypse happened in the 70s. But you get my point. I’d think instead of a sea of gray, the undead-littered horizon would resemble a technicolor blanket. What do I know, though? My only experience with things coming back from the dead has been Arrested Development, and that left much to be desired.

The-Walking-Dead--Daryl-Zombies
Everybody’s so drab looking.

The same applies to the undead ladies, of course. Just once I’d love to see a “walker” that looked like this…

sexy zombie

‘Cause I’m all about equal opportunity.

My newest team member starts today. I christened her Tamale Girl because, during her interview, she mentioned that her husband makes excellent tamales. I don’t know if this was a subtle way of ingratiating herself into my Mexican food loving-heart, but it worked. It came down to her and another guy, and he was a Denver Broncos fan like me. Talk about a toss-up. Corn husks FTW!

(And writing samples. Hers was slightly better.)

Speaking of my Broncos, I feel pretty badly for Peyton Manning these days. The guy had a great run, but he is clearly in the twilight of his career. Maybe he’ll come back this season and get the storybook ending he deserves. If not, well…I’m a big fan of our new quarterback, Brock Osweiler. Real excited to see what he can do for the team. He’s off to a good start, anyway.

Brock’s a great name, by the way. But talk about destiny: when his parents named him, he pretty much had to become an NFL quarterback. Right? It’s such a football name. You don’t see very many accountants named Brock. Or veterinarians or poets laureate. I was telling this to a coworker named Blake, and realized that he is in the wrong line of business. Blakes are also typically quarterbacks. Or country singers. What our Blake is doing designing ads for a living is beyond me.

There are other names like that. Micks are musicians. Mildreds are spinstresses. And people named Waldo are forever getting lost in the crowd. (He might be easy to spot – for once – in a zombie horde, what with his bright red-and-white striped shirt.)

Happy Thanksgiving in advance!

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13 thoughts on “No Bright Colors in the Zombie Apocalypse

  1. Happy thanksgiving in advance to you too! I too have wondered at this phenomenon of all the zombies wearing grey. It would be fantastic to see at least one in technicolour. It makes no sense that they would all be wearing grey at the time of infection, but I suppose this fact must have a symbolic purpose :D

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  2. You know, Mark, I have never watched The Walking Dead (which is so ironic you post about today because many of coworkers were talking about the show last Sunday during our holiday meeting) because I think I would enjoy it! And you’re right, I’ve never seen zombies depicted in any film, other than wearing gray and being colorless.

    Wishing you and Tara a Happy and Faaaaaabbulous Thanksgiving Day!

    Cheers!

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    1. You should check it out, Ron. But you’d have to start at the beginning and make your way through 5 seasons in order to catch up. It’s worth it, though! Hope your Black Friday is treating you well. :)

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  3. I’d noticed the colors (or lack thereof) as well, but figured it was because it was several months into the new world order and only Alexandrians have working laundry machines. River water typically contains at least a little sediment. Besides, I would want to be at least a little camouflaged. The people they’ve met along the way don’t tend to be all that neighborly.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you too!

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  4. I’ve not thought about it, but you are correct. If they are scavenging for leftover canned goods in those stores, why aren’t they picking up funny t-shirts and the like? That show could use a good shot of humor and I think you’d make a fine writer for them!

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    1. Aww…thanks! I consider that a huge compliment. I also think that when they’re picking up funny t-shirts they should also grab some wacky sunglasses and crazy straws. If ever there were a time to lighten the mood, the zombie apocalypse would be it!

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  5. I think they are trying to create a ambiance, you know zombies are not colorful. Plus blood and guts show up better on dull colors.

    Good luck with your new employee! Hopefully she will ply you with food to keep you from noticing any early errors.

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    1. You’re right. Blood and guts do show better against a dull, dark background. Mystery solved! (But they’re sacrificing reality in the process. Then again, I guess the whole concept of a zombie apocalypse is pretty far-fetched to begin with).

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