I Am Lion, Hear Me Meow

I’ve been on a passive-aggressive hot streak these days.

Normally, I am not keen on confrontation. But I also have a hard time biting my tongue. In order to resolve these conflicting emotions, I’ve elevated passive-aggressiveness into an art form. In case you are unfamiliar with the term, it is defined thusly:

The unassertive expression of negative sentiments, feelings of anger, and resentfulness.

It’s a defense mechanism that allows people to say what’s on their minds without being openly aggressive. In other words, you get to be a jackass, but nobody knows you’re being a jackass.

Or something along those lines.

All I know is, it’s perfectly suited to those folks who speak fluent sarcasm. Here’s a great example: 

A passive-aggressive person might print that up and leave it on the office bulletin board, for instance. Or, if they were feeling particularly rebellious, maybe even stick it on their windshield.

No. I didn’t do anything like that. But I did “reply all” to a company-wide email warning people to move their cars because the parking lady was making her rounds and said, Man, if only we had a designated parking lot…

‘Cause, you know. We do.

Instead of parking in spaces meant for the public and moving your car every two hours to avoid getting a ticket, why not just park in the company lot? I get that it’s a whopping 90-second walk and you have to cross one whole street, but come on already.

Anyway.

I haven’t been writing here as often, because: life. It’s been busy at work; in fact, we are about to celebrate a milestone and hit work order # 10,000 today. Quite an accomplishment since we just switched to an electronic system two years ago. We’re celebrating with pizza and champagne on Monday. It seems like every week there’s a new face in the office, and we are officially past the tipping point because I no longer know everybody’s name. And we’re projecting another 30 or so new hires by year’s end. Crazy.

Tara’s hair is getting pretty long. I like it. She finally caved in and started watching The Walking Dead; it only took three years of nagging (passive-aggressively, of course) on my part to convince her. She is midway through Season 2, which means she’ll be caught up and current in another 52 episodes or so. I didn’t think I was going to bother watching the whole thing from the start all over again, but damn if I haven’t gotten sucked back in, too. It’s fun to see how these characters first met, and to witness how they have evolved over the years (Carol, most notably) or disappeared (Shane, Sophia, and about a hundred others). RIP nearly everybody.

Audrey will be running for junior class vice president next year. We are back down to one cat because Mia was terrorizing Sydney, and that shit won’t fly. Winter was pronounced dead a few days ago, after a streak of 60F+ temps put a stake through its icy heart.

Hmm. Maybe too much of The Walking Dead for me?

Now you are officially caught up.