Juanito Told Lupe

It’s nice to have one food you are so good at making, you become “known” for it. People expect it whenever they come over for dinner. They ask for the recipe but, if it truly is “your thing,” they can never duplicate it. For me, that is guacamole.

(Side note: I was walking through the Camas farmer’s market yesterday and saw a sign for “Fresh Guak.” That k just about killed me. Once an editor, always an editor, I suppose.)

I’ve been making this guacamole for the better part of a decade now, and have it perfected. I stumbled upon a recipe from Who Song & Larry’s, a local Mexican food joint, in the newspaper one time. I was a big fan of their guacamole – which they make fresh for you, table-side, while singing an outlandish guacamole song to the tune of “Woolly Bully.” You can only imagine. The lyrics go like this:

Well, Juanito told Lupe

About a thing he saw

It was green and squishy

And they ate it all.

Guacamole!!

Guacamole.

Guacamole (squish, squish), guacamole (squish, squish), guacamole.

There’s more, but I trust you get the picture. There is a video clip on YouTube if you’re that inclined to hear the rest. Corny song aside, I really liked Who Songs’ guacamole, so I saved the recipe and made it. It was pretty, pretty good, as Larry David would say, but I gradually modified it over the years. Today, I’ve achieved avocado perfection. Juanito and Lupe would be proud. So I make it for potlucks and parties and dinner get-togethers when we have people over. In true rock ‘n roll fashion I’ve even made it on the road, at other people’s houses, though thankfully nobody was waving a lighter in my face while I was dicing up onions.

Not mine. But eerily similar. Green, chunky…what a coincidence!

And I’m happy to do it. I could probably make it in my sleep at this point. I’d share the recipe, but because it’s “my thing,” you won’t be able to duplicate it. Trust me.

Tara’s thing is deviled eggs, by the way. What’s yours?


Speaking of Larry David, I finished watching “Curb Your Enthusiasm” over the weekend and now I kind of don’t know what to do with myself. Eight seasons worth, 10 episodes per season. That means I just completed 80 episodes of Curb (though I’m not sure if you’d call it “binge watching” as this was spread out over a few months’ time…is there an official equation for determining what constitutes a binge watch?), and as predicted by all who encouraged me to watch, loved it. Like, freakin’ loved it (because, hi mom!). Almost without exception, it’s brilliant and hilarious and sarcastic and dark. All positive factors in a sitcom. I’m on the fence as to whether it’s better than Seinfeld. I mostly find the idea ludicrous and sacrilegious, but then I think about Denise Handicapped and the awkwardly inappropriate question of whether a Chinese baby has a predilection for chopsticks and the prostitute Larry hired simply to take advantage of the carpool lane and the idea doesn’t seem so farfetched at all. I’d say both series are close – it’s almost a toss-up for me – so if you’re a Seinfeld fan looking for something similar but have never checked out Curb, I highly recommend you do so.

Now.

Seriously, what are you waiting for?

(Other than to finish my blog post, of course.)


(And leave a comment.)


Did anybody take advantage of Prime Day on 7/11?

Up until this year, I knew nothing about it. I was never an Amazon Prime member, so why would I? But I am now (the ability to maybe-binge watch 80 episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm alone was worth the price), so I actually started paying attention this time around.

I ended up buying a brand new Kindle Fire 7 tablet for an impossible-to-resist price of $20. It was marked down from $50 to $30 that one day only, and ordering through Alexa would give you a $10 Amazon credit, so I jumped all over that. And I had no desire for a tablet before that day, but I gotta admit, it’s nice to have around. I gave my old MacBook to Audrey at the beginning of the year, reasoning that I could always bring my work laptop home if I needed to do something. (Like writing a blog post at 6:30 p.m.). It’s worked out fine, but it is nice to have a tablet with a screen that’s big and easy to read. So, good job, Prime Day! You have made me a convert!

And to think the previous most exciting thing to ever happen to me on 7/11 was a free Slurpee…

Tara also bought a tent on Prime Day. She got a lightning deal that saved her $40. Great timing, as we have a camping trip coming up the end of next week. It’s quite a haul, five hours away and north of Mount Rainier, but we’ve got a great spot right next to the river and are looking forward to a couple of days spent hiking, exploring, and kicking back in front of the campfire with a cocktail in our hands and not a worry on our minds.

No doubt Tara will want me to make guacamole.

I’ll offer her a trade if she brings deviled eggs…

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16 thoughts on “Juanito Told Lupe

  1. Guacamole is one of my faves, so looks yummy. My thing used to be strawberry shortcake, but now I only make it once a year. I need a new, healthier ‘thing.’

    Were you ever an Arrested Development fan? That’s my closest to Seinfeld.

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    1. As a matter of fact, I am an Arrested fan. I’ve got the first three seasons on DVD. The 4th? Let’s just say, I hope they do the 5th they’re talking about in order to redeem themselves.

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  2. Ugh – yeah no the k would tell me right away that guacamole is not to be trusted. I make some very good deviled eggs too, it was one of the few recipes my grandmother passed down (the rest we let be forgotten as outside of deviled eggs and sugar cookies, grandma wasn’t exactly known for her cooking). I also make some great fruit pies if I do say so myself. The secret is in the crust.

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  3. Oh yes I do like the Guacamole, and like Allie said the k would leave it to not be trusted. It sounds like you made a haul on Prime day, I didn’t check it out this year but in the past have been too slow for the lightening deals. I have the Kindle Fire HDX 8.9, I use it for nearly everything I really liked my kindle fire 7 but the larger screen on this one makes a big difference.

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    1. Your timing has to be just right to snag a lightning deal. Luckily, Tara just happened to log on just when it was about to go down. I’m happy to hear you like your Fire tablets!

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  4. My thing is pico de gallo, or so says my husband. He also raves about my tamales and told his mom when she was up visiting for our wedding last year that he thinks I’m secretly Mexican. I think that’s a damn huge compliment coming from a Texan. ((I’m pretty much as white-bread as they come, btw – English, Dutch, & German.))

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      1. Making tamales is an all-day event. I usually make at least fifty, or however many I can get out of a package of corn-husks. There’s no other way to do it than by hand so, yeah… labor intensive indeed.

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  5. Mark, so ironic you posted about your guacamole because I was talking with a coworker yesterday and we were sharing our love for Mexican food and particularly….Guacamole!!!! OMG…I love it! There’s a fantabulous Mexican restaurant (El Vez) right around the corner from my place which serves incredible guacamole. But I bet yours in better! :)

    LOVE Curb Your Enthusiasm! I have one of the seasons on DVD. I love that brilliant and hilarious and sarcastic and dark type humor. I especially love the wife of Larry’s best friend. HILARIOUS!

    Congrats on your new Kindle. And what a steal! I plan on purchasing a tablet sometime soon. I’ve been wanting one for a while now (for the convenience of portability), and I found a few at a really great price!

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    1. Ahh, yes – Jeff’s wife Susie is something else. Are you looking forward to the new season of Curb as much as I am?? (Only problem: I don’t get HBO. I hope it’s released to Amazon streaming pretty quickly so I can take advantage of that).

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  6. Do you add a squirt of lime juice ? Never went for this gwacko stuff but usta slice avocado in half, take out pit and add a little white vinegar and pepper and scoop it out. I miss Miami now for at least that one reason. They were the size of big cantaloupes. Up here in North Carolina they are just a little bigger than tennis balls. I wonder where they get these from.

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    1. It’s more like half a lime, but yes – that’s an essential ingredient. Our avocados are tennis ball-sized out here, too – but I’ve seen the bigger ones in California. They intimidate me.

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