Short Stories

It amazes me how much corporate dress codes have evolved over the years. Fresh out of college, my first “real” job required business attire. Slacks, dress shoes, long-sleeved collared shirts and ties. It’s hard to believe I got dressed up like that every day for years. Even when I moved to Portland in late 1994Continue reading “Short Stories”


Spaghetti Shirts

We celebrated Audrey’s birthday a few days ago, and she requested spaghetti for dinner. So that morning, when getting dressed, I made sure to wear a “spaghetti shirt.” When I mentioned this to Tara, she looked at me blankly. “A spaghetti shirt?” “That’s right. It’s a shirt that is at least partially red. That way,Continue reading “Spaghetti Shirts”

The Escape Hatch is in the Rear

Monday morning, I got dressed in the dark before heading to work. No big deal, right? Wrong. Fast forward a couple of hours. I’m in my cubicle, finishing up my coffee, when nature calls. (I’m trying to word this delicately, but let me be clear just in case there is any confusion: by “nature calls”Continue reading “The Escape Hatch is in the Rear”

Clarifying My Words

Saturday, I had my parents over for dinner. In an ode to my Hawaiian roots, I cooked up an island-inspired feast of kalua pork and chicken long rice. I even whipped up Mai Tai‘s to wash everything down with, and fired up my “Aloha Mix” on the iPod. I’m nothing if not detail oriented (although,Continue reading “Clarifying My Words”

Champagne Wishes on a Sparkling Water Budget

With my finances suddenly dwindling, I’ve found myself cutting more corners lately. Gone are the extravagant weekly steak and lobster dinners. I no longer take the Maserati through the car wash, I scrub it with a bucket of soapy water and a sponge myself. Worst of all, I had to fire the maid (although really,Continue reading “Champagne Wishes on a Sparkling Water Budget”

Rule Of Thumbs

Today marks a breakthrough.  I’m wearing pants. I should clarify: I have not been lounging around in my boxers (or less) this past week.  I’ve been wearing sweats, but let’s face it, they don’t count.  Anything with an elastic waistband and devoid of a zipper, while comfortable, hardly qualifies as pants.  It doesn’t even takeContinue reading “Rule Of Thumbs”