Lobsters, Not Hipsters

A few days ago, a Groupon offer popped up on my phone that was too irresistible to pass up. Portland Magazine was offering a great deal – two years for the price of one. Since my current subscription was about to expire, I was more than happy to shell out $24 for a brand new,Continue reading “Lobsters, Not Hipsters”

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Is That Sriracha in Your Pocket, or Are You Happy to See Me?

It’s Sriracha in my pocket. I don’t know – is it weird to carry around a portable bottle of hot sauce in your pants? Conventional wisdom would probably indicate┬áso. Fortunately, I never pay attention to the so-called arbiters of what is, or is not, considered normal behavior. When I whipped it out at lunchtime yesterday,Continue reading “Is That Sriracha in Your Pocket, or Are You Happy to See Me?”

Happy Boo-day To You

I’ve noticed recently that time has stopped mattering so much to me. I came to this conclusion when slipping into a comfy pair of pajama pants at 4:30 PM, when I’d just gotten home from picking the kids up from school. The sun was shining brightly through a scattering of clouds, giving me pause forContinue reading “Happy Boo-day To You”

Champagne Wishes on a Sparkling Water Budget

With my finances suddenly dwindling, I’ve found myself cutting more corners lately. Gone are the extravagant weekly steak and lobster dinners. I no longer take the Maserati through the car wash, I scrub it with a bucket of soapy water and a sponge myself. Worst of all, I had to fire the maid (although really,Continue reading “Champagne Wishes on a Sparkling Water Budget”

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

I broke up with somebody this morning. We hadn’t been together long – just a couple of months – and I suppose our relationship was like so many others. It burned with a white-hot intensity and passion at first, but the novelty wore off quickly. Our 7 encounters a week dwindled to 4, and beforeContinue reading “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”

Please Don’t Buy Me a Star

Last year, I subscribed to Groupon because I’d heard people talking about the really good deals you could find on there. I have to admit, there are some real bargains; I’ve purchased a couple of restaurant Groupons myself. But there are some real head-scratchers, too. Take yesterday’s Daily Deal for Portland: for $29 you canContinue reading “Please Don’t Buy Me a Star”