The Afterlife is Like Syndication

When did pizza places become synonymous with chicken wings? It used to be you’d call up your friendly neighborhood pizza joint (even picking up the telephone seems antiquated now) and order a pie. They might offer you breadsticks or a liter of Coke. If they were fancy, perhaps a salad. But now, everybody’s got chickenContinue reading “The Afterlife is Like Syndication”

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Jumping The Shark

A few days ago, I diagnosed a case of tonsillitis over Facebook. I don’t know whether to laugh about this or consider enrolling in medical school, but it did make me feel all smart and doctor-y. One of my friends messaged me looking for advice because her daughter had a white spot on her tonsil.Continue reading “Jumping The Shark”

I’m Bleeding to Death, Pineapple Jones!

This morning we had a benefits enrollment meeting at work to discuss health insurance coverage. As the meeting was winding down, our HR lady asked if there were any questions. I had an overwhelming urge to respond, What if you have a preexisting condition that is highly contagious in enclosed quarters? Can you still getContinue reading “I’m Bleeding to Death, Pineapple Jones!”

Enchanted With Amy

Yesterday, I professed my love for a beautiful woman over a Facebook status update. I’m the kind of guy who likes to shout things from the rooftop, and I figured a relationship like ours deserved attention. I couldn’t hold back any longer – it was time to share this happy news with the world. AndContinue reading “Enchanted With Amy”