I’m Dying to Be Left Alone. Literally.

I may have finally learned how to beat telemarketers at their own game. Just tell ’em you’re dead. One day last week, I got a call from a Nigerian prince¬†telling me I’d just won the lottery, and would I like to buy some Viagra with my earnings while switching cell phone¬†carriers? Or something along thoseContinue reading “I’m Dying to Be Left Alone. Literally.”


Yesterday’s News Today

Last week, I took my car to {INSERT NAME OF NATIONAL¬†CHAIN SPECIALIZING IN OIL CHANGES} for an oil change. After checking me in, the attendant led me to the waiting area, where he instructed me to have a seat and feel free to read a magazine until my name was called. So naturally, I whippedContinue reading “Yesterday’s News Today”